![]() ![]() ![]() Basically, no matter how sexy the situation is, you’re not going to want to have sex if something is putting you off of it. Most people, if they want to enjoy sex more, try to turn on more ons, but they’d usually have more success if they turned off more offs. The first is SES/SIS, or “the gas and the brakes.” The ons and the offs. There are two models that were new to me and form the scientific core of the book. The things she explains are actually old, they’ve been around almost thirty years and originate with sex researchers, and they just haven’t made it into the mainstream discourse yet (largely because, as she puts it: “ugh, patriarchy.”) I’m suspicious of anyone claiming to have “discovered” a new system that will solve everyone’s problems with “one weird trick they don’t want you to know about,” but Dr. ![]() I finished it going “omg, I need to get a copy of this for everyone I know.” I’m not that rich, so I’m reviewing it instead and telling you to check it out. I’ve read a lot of books on sexuality, but Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, published in 2015, actually legit has surprising new stuff in it that I hadn’t heard about before. I think framing the question the old way was limiting the books I could meaningfully review. ![]() (I’ve decided to transform the “Is This Feminist?” series into a series of Feminist Friday Reviews. ![]()
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